Reason
by nellchan0013
Summary: LavixKanda Landa He was the reason Lavi was Lavi... But now that reason's gone. Rated T to be safe and for slight shonen-ai guyxguy kissing ;character death. R&R and no flames. One-shot


**nellchan0013 here! First off, thanks for reading this fic! Second, uh, this is sorta angsty yeah. Third, I will update my other stories...hopefully. **

**The idea for this story came to me during Biology. Yeah, weird. I don't know if it's been done before, but hey, I gave it a shot! Lastly, the last part of the story came during the soCal fires in Yorba Linda. My friends are evacuating so, I don't know how, but that gave me inspiration. Read and enjoy, please.**

**Discalimer: Well, if I owned DGM, then there'd be so much yaoi, it's a little scary...**

**Edited:**__August 2, 2010

**Xxx**

The stench of blood was thick in the air. It was mixed in so well with the glory, joy, mourning and loss, Lavi almost couldn't detect it. Almost. Blood was always present on a battlefield. It was one smell he would never forget and one he would always encounter.

A soft, ominous wind directed Lavi forward. He trekked past thin rivers of blood, still bodies, mourning people. He bade them no attention. Bookman would take care of that. As for Lavi, he needed to find _him. _Nothing could stop him now. Not even Panda.

"Yu-chan, you're such a mess." Lavi teased softly. He sat on a large piece of rubble, grinning at the battered Asian.

"Shut up, baka usagi!" Kanda snarled. He winced, for the effort it took to yell at Lavi made his wound send throbbing pains through his body. "Tell me something: when I die, will you write my story and then leave?"

"No." Lavi lied. "You're not going to die." Again, a lie. They both knew. Like they knew this was the last time they'd ever see each other.

"I'm not gonna die." He repeated, sarcasm dripping in every word. He scoffed, and the wound over his heart protested. "I'm going to live like the Moyashi's going to get taller."

"Allen'll get taller. He just needs a reason to."

"So you're saying the Moyashi _doesn't_ want me to die?"

"No one wants you to die." Lavi assured.

It was gut wrenching, seeing his lover and best friend there, propped up against a wall of rubble, life ebbing away slowly. The black raven hair that fell so beautifully in cascades to his chest streaked in blood, the body and tattoo scratched with impossible to heal gashes and lacerations. It didn't take a genius to know that the lotus in his room was on its last petal. Lavi's heart bled thinking about it.

"All humans die." Kanda deadpanned. He coughed into his hand and Lavi caught a glimpse of the horrifyingly familiar crimson red liquid.

"But you aren't human, are you, Yu?" Lavi whispered. "You have that curse."

"And that's what makes me human. Only we can be cursed."

"God, don't sound so pessimistic!" He pouted.

"Tch, I'm only telling the truth." Kanda rolled his grey eyes, the life draining oh so painstakingly slowly.

Lavi fell silent. Here was Kanda on the verge of death, Mugen by his side and still, he had that attitude. He couldn't find any words to say. What _could_ you say to a man who knew his was dying? So he said the only words he knew to be true.

"I love you."

Kanda snapped his head to Lavi, an expression of mixed pain and shock painting his beautiful face. "Don't say such stupid things. You're a Bookman, you don't get attached. "

"It's the truth. I love you. And forget being a Bookman." Lavi snorted. "You are the one person I love and nothing can change that. You're the reason I'm Lavi."

"That…makes me want to gag…" Kanda said after a prolonged silence. The soft blush on his pale cheeks said otherwise.

Lavi chucked quietly before it dawned on him. Kanda was going to die. This was the last time Lavi would make him blush, the last time he'd see him with his hair down. This was the last time they'd talk, the last time they'd joke around, and the last moment they'd spend. This was it.

Kanda stared intently at the pondering redhead. It occurred to the cursed samurai Lavi realized it as well. He watched as the future Bookman took a seat beside him.

"Yu-chan, if you wanted anything right now, honestly, what would it be?" Lavi wondered. He placed an arm around the elder's shoulder, tipped Kanda's head onto his shoulder and rested his head on the soap smelling hair.

"Life." The gooey, mushy answer would have been 'you'. Kanda wasn't that willing to be that romantic. Besides, Lavi had asked for the truth. Or maybe the truth was 'to find _that_ person.'

"Doesn't everyone?" He smiled wryly. "Believe me, if I could, I'd give it to you. But," Lavi tilted Kanda's chin with one finger from his free hand, bringing their faces close together, "this will have to do."

It wasn't much of a surprise to Lavi that Kanda's last kiss would be bittersweet. He tasted the fear, longing and desire to live mixed in with the blood. How many times had he kissed Kanda? Even Lavi lost count, but this one seemed to be the best and worst.

Their lips moved as one, neither trying to take control. This wasn't a deeply intimate kiss where they had fights for dominance. Enough of those had been exchanged. This…was a goodbye kiss. One that would stay with the two of them through life…and death.

Kanda broke the kiss, his breath more ragged than ever. A smirk rested on his lips as he repositioned himself. Mugen propped up, crossing his heart and arms across his chest as he stared straight ahead. It was time.

"Oi, Usagi," He locked grey with jade for the last time, "I love you."

There were no tears. It had gone an unspoken promise between them: no one was to cry. Instead, Lavi had to deal with only his aching heart when he saw Kanda's chest rise and fall one final time.

Standing and careful to not disturb the resting body, Lavi used the palm of his hand to shut his former lover's eyelids. He didn't deserve to see a bloody field after death. Quickly, he unfolded his aqua-green headband, then tied it around Kanda's eyes. He'd always known Kanda liked the headband, no matter how many times the scowling swordsman denied it. There was that small chance the Order would cremate it with him. At least a part of Lavi would always be with him.

"Rest in peace." He murmured, kissing the Asian's forehead and bangs. He swore he heard him 'tch'. "You were Lavi's reason."

With that, Bookman Jr. turned and left. There was no need to look back.

Lavi's reason was gone, and so was he.

**Xxx**

**And there you have it! Sorry for killin off Yu-chan, I love him don't get me wrong, but it was perfect for this! Thanks once again for reading and please please please review! **

**Sorry any errors and if it was bad...constructive criticism is apprectiated!**

**Thanks to my little sister for beta-reading! **


End file.
